Website for artist, writer Maria Peach
For any enquiries contact:
infocreativesouls@gmail.com
Hey there!
Book is finally finished. Check out this new website that the book is being promoted on. Groovy lol xxx
The book in full, each poem with matching pictures. I have never written poetry before... until this book. Except haikus at primary school lol . Click on the picture and then the right square to enlarge. Enjoy xxx
Hey there
Its been a big week. I have been up all night listening to old New Edition tracks. They were my favourite band at primary, intermediate and high school... listening to them evokes so many good feelings. Its like the songs are in the blood... I am a little tired but wanted to say hi and share a little bit about the week as this website is suppose to be helping people search within and seek inwards right... to know our True Self... and I have been doing alot of that over the weeks. I have chatted to a few meditation friends, and those who have stopped by, ever grateful for their insights and anything that can help with the path...
It all started when I couldn't figure out why... after even working on myself, and knowing you have all these qualities ... why it felt like I still wasn't good enough for guys. Whatever they are after, I am not sure... just even after self reflection ... ( albeit a person with faults aswell, not perfect, but perfectly imperfect whatever...) You know how people say you need to think more positive about yourself... and I am like.. yea well I know what I am lol.. I know I am honest, loyal, faithful, devoted, rarara .... but why after even knowing all this... do I feel like I don't measure up. Maybe alot of women go through this... but I was starting to think... even having all that stuff.... and its still not good enough... then what the heck am I suppose to be? A half wit mean, horrible person? It was disheartening. I know I set a high standard for guys.... but thats cause I don't want a donut to father my child. Maybe I don't meet that standard guys set either so it could be the same thing .... but when I looked at some of the women men go out with... I think.. are you serious? Your saying I don't measure up to this person? And thats when a girls heart really breaks...
Self love has popped up a few times in conversations with people over the week. The idea of total acceptance of who one is, of loving oneself completely faults and all. To the point where we are not dependant on others to fill our needs, desires. I understand the idea and actually love the idea of loving freely. My favourite passage about letting go, is by a guy called Anthony De Mello called, " No where to go," (you will have to google it as I can't be stuffed adding it right now lol) And one of the most powerful lines is," The true lover, seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover." Reading the whole article really makes it all sink in...
There is a part also though inside, that feels like... even the idea of loving oneself.... means we are trying to become or feel perfect prior to being with someone. The idea that we have to have our stuff sorted out before we can ever fully love. I don't think anybody in 1 lifetime has it sorted to be honest. If we did, we wouldn't be alive and would be with God/Divine. And the idea that we need to sort our stuff out before hand so we can then experience God /Divine within another person better .... is even confusing... cause if one was to let Him work through them.... then wouldn't that mean both would be accepting of each others faults as God is an all loving being, that loves us with our faults?
So I then had to define loving oneself. And that is a massive task. I don't think you can define it. But when I think about it... it really means knowing who you are and loving yourself as you are. It means loving how God made you. It means knowing that when everyone else sees bad in you and you know you are honest and loyal and sincere and rarara... it means you are not swayed by their opinions about what they think of you . You believe in yourself and you know who you are. And do you know, how I know, this is what loving oneself means? .... because I know - I don't do it.
I know I don't believe it. I know I listen to what people think and I know I worry about what others think. And at the end of the day I do not see myself as God sees me - but how others see me. (which by the way, after this insight, is now going to change with the help of loving friends. If you thought I was strong now NOT knowing who I was.... wait till I start believing)
Is it any wonder then - why I feel I don't/didn't measure up.
A true friend or partner...... and I have found out who they are/aren't over the many years... is someone that directs you towards God. That wants you to know your Divine worth and wants you to see yourself as He sees you. Its the person who despite their own hang ups and doubts and fears, is able to put them aside and not prey on your vulnerability to uplift their own spirit. These people are very few and far between, but once you find them work with them and help them, like they help you. Be there for each other. The goal is to be with God for all of us, so we need to be around people that will help us. And a part of loving oneself - is seeking out people who do this.
I use to think that being open and kind and caring to people was detrimental to who I was because people can walk all over you and not always reciprocate your love. But a part of loving myself - is knowing that is a beautiful quality to have, the ability to still love others deeply despite everything.
Getting tired now.... but thanks to everyone who helped this week and to anyone that has ever pointed me in the direction of God/Divine.
I love you
Gods love
Maria
